Current mood:

introspective

191. antichange
When we're young and get hurt, mommy or daddy (or a guardian) puts a bandaid on our booboo and kisses it to make us feel better (if we're lucky). If only things could be so easy once we grow up. I feel so depressed these days. I cry at night. I haven't cried in a while. But now I can't stop. I guess all these tears have been storing up inside of me.

I kept saying that I would take him on a walk with my dog (yes, this topic never gets old, eh?). But each day, I would put it off. Now it's too late. I just watched Elizabethtown a while back. I didn't really like the movie but the message kind of hit hard. Yet I didn't do anything about it.

My mom told me once that I was always a little slow growing up. I think I still am. For example, it took me extra long to learn how to swim, ride a bicycle: just everything. Although, in my defense, the only reason why it took so long for me to stay seated on a bike is that I was trying to ride with a flat tire. >_< But the point is that it takes me a long for things to set. Maybe I'm just stubborn (even with learning). I know I should change but it's so hard. It took me a while to get to where I am now. I think I just don't like changes. I really detest change: even if it's good for me. But once I adapt to the changes, I'm fine. It's the intermediate stage that's difficult for me. I don't know what would make it easier.